When is the last time you asked yourself, “am I happy?” I know it can feel like a daunting question, but it’s easy to get so caught up in the day-to-day of our lives that we don’t take a moment to pause and ask ourselves this incredibly important question.
But seriously. Ask yourself this question now. Are you happy?
If you’re not, what’s stopping you from actually feeling happy? Are you running on autopilot? Do you have your inner voice whispering that there’s more to life than this? What steps can you take today to move towards living the life you dream of?
A personal story
I turned 40 a few months ago and it felt like a huge milestone for personal reasons. A year prior, I was living a life that felt misaligned to who I truly am. The process to discover myself has been a long winding journey that started as a curious child, but over the years, I was often too busy to truly focus on my own needs and wishes. Then quarantine happened.
Despite the challenges that came with it, our quarantine period gave me a moment to pause and reflect on my life’s direction. When I look back at that time, I see my journals filled with pages and pages of self reflection. Taking the time to journal regularly allowed me to see things I’d been pushing away subconsciously.
So I began to make changes. Nothing miraculous or revolutionary happened over night, but once I got clear on the vision I had for myself, I began to make slow and subtle shifts in the direction that would take me to get there.
The process reminds me of something I learned from Debbie Millman a few years ago. If you’re not familiar with Debbie, she is a renowned writer, designer, educator, artist, and podcast host. Based on an exercise she learned from Milton Glaser, Debbie leads her students every year through an adaption of it called the “Remarkable Life” exercise.
The Remarkable Life
The Remarkable Life is an exercise that will help you get in touch with your inner most wishes and desires. Here’s a how Debbie explains how to do it:
“Let’s say it’s winter 2027…What does your life look like?
What are you doing? Where are you living? Who are you living with? Do you have pets?
What kind of house are you in? Is it an apartment? Are you in the city? Are you in the country?
What does your furniture look like? What is your bed like? What are your sheets like? What kind of clothes do you wear? What kind of hair do you have?
Tell me about your pets. Tell me about your significant other.
Do you have children? Do you have a car? Do you have a boat?
Talk about your career.
What do you want? What are you reading? What are you making?
What excites you? What is your health like?
And write this day, this one day, 10 years from now…So one day in the winter of 2027, what does your whole day look like?
Start from the minute you wake up, brush your teeth, have your coffee or tea, all the way through till when you tuck yourself in at night.
What is that day like for you? Dream big!
Dream without any fear. Write it all down. You don’t have to share it with anyone other than yourself.
Put your whole heart into it, and write like there’s no tomorrow. Write like your life depends on it, because it does.
And then, read it. Once a year. And see what happens.”
Debbie Millman as told to Tim Ferriss on The Tim Ferriss Show.
Debbie goes on to say that in the years since she first did the exercise herself, she has gone on to live the life exactly as the one she dreamed about. She describes the exercise as magic.
I myself have done it and although I haven’t quite reached all of my life’s goals, I am now moving in the direction to get there. But before making this plan, I was living on autopilot for a few reasons, which you might relate to.
The 3 S’s
Safety. Security. Stability. Realizing your life’s purpose and going for your dreams is a courageous act and it often means being able to weather discomfort and high risk. Not to mention, it’s a privilege to be in a place in your life where you can even take risks. However, I would bet that there are always small things you can do to slowly shift your life’s direction to get on the path you’re meant to be on.
Fear
Fear related to losing the aforementioned stability. Fear of failure. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of mediocrity. If you’re not going to be the best, why bother trying at all? The fear of not being worthy of happiness. The fear of not being worthy of success. Fear can truly make your head spin if you let it consume you.
Lack of empowerment
No one is going to give you permission to be great. It’s up to you to do the work to feel empowered enough to go for what you want. This can be helped by working with a coach who can help you realize your blocks and help you move past them.
Dreaming is hard work
Dreaming takes courage, but once you set the intention, it’s amazing how everything in your life will begin to shift to make room for your dreams to come true. Do you relate to the fears I mentioned above? If so, what are you going to do about it? Ask yourself:
What can I do today to move in the direction of My dream life?
What steps can you take? Write it down. Revisit your notes regularly. If you want to be happy in this life, remember that happiness is a choice. There will always be reasons (or excuses) to postpone your happiness, so it’s up to you to take actions towards the life of your dreams.
Back to the Remarkable Life
If you’re interested in diving deeper on the Remarkable Life exercise, you’re in luck! Debbie Millman has just launched The Remarkable Life Deck: A Ten-Year Plan for Achieving Your Dreams card deck. I’m excited to check it out!
I hope this post was helpful and above all, that you find the courage to listen to your own inner guide and dream up the life you know you truly want. And if you’re interested in working together so I can help you realize your dreams and life goals, I’d love to hear from you.
Top photo by kevin turcios on Unsplash.
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