What a week, huh? If you are in the Northeast or Canada in an area affected by the wildfires, I hope you’ve been able to fare okay all things considered. Wednesday felt like the apocalypse and although we’re not entirely in the clear yet, I am grateful that the air quality has since improved.
I do want to share my personal experience of this week. As the day started getting hazier on Wednesday, I began to feel a giant pit in my stomach. By the afternoon, our apartment was lit by a warm orange light. I was worried about toxic air leaking in from the shut windows so despite wanting natural light, we closed all the shades and continued to work with lamps the rest of the day. I kept trying to act normal and go about my day like nothing was wrong because I had a long to-do list, but I found myself slowly obsessing about the air quality. I compulsively checked AirNow.gov and let my mind wander to all the bad things. The feeling reminded me of early 2020, in the worst way.
So this is what I chose to do. I could have dwelled on fear and anger about what was happening. I think those feelings are definitely helpful and can steer us toward action. But in the moment, I didn’t want to feel those feelings then. So instead, I decided to give myself a break. I was too distracted to make progress on my to-do list anyway, so I let it go. And importantly, I made a very conscious decision to not feel guilty about it. I made myself a warm cup of chamomile and rested on my couch while listening to a podcast. It was my version of doing nothing, but also—resting is something. The mental load it takes to worry about the world is draining and in the moment, I chose to not carry the weight of it. I didn’t feel particularly great afterward, but I did feel better.
So why am I sharing this? Well, I think there’s something to say about being deliberate with our thoughts during hard times. I am definitely not saying that we should ignore big issues all the time and there is definitely SO much work to be done that requires our critical thinking, but I guess my point is this. If you’re like me and have a tendency to let obsessive thoughts take over, I offer you a kind suggestion, and even permission, to let those thoughts go. Have compassion for yourself and choose to do something nourishing instead, whether that’s taking a nap, making a delicious meal, or if the weather permits, taking a long walk outside.
Worth noting, I realize it’s a privilege to take a pause like this and not everyone can take a rest break, especially during the workday. But the sentiment is more about changing our perspective and thought patterns than it is about physical action. So even if your situation is different, how can you nurture and care for your mind and thoughts?
We don’t have to solve everything, we don’t always have to be the fixers. At least not every day anyway. It’s the same analogy as putting on our own oxygen mask first if a flight is going down. We can’t help or serve the greater good without taking care of ourselves first.
How about you? How was your week? Any thoughts to share on how you handle tough days? I’d love to hear it in the comments below.
Top photo credit: @Aelthemplaer on Twitter, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
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