I’ve been listening to the Rich Roll podcast for a few years now and one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from it is: MOOD FOLLOWS ACTION.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, especially as I am currently on Day 12 of a 30-day workout challenge. Some days I truly do not want to lay out my yoga mat or put on my workout clothes. Sometimes I procrastinate and do a million other things first. But before the day ends, I keep my promise to myself and make it happen. 10 times out of 10, I finish the workout feeling good. Happy. Strong. Proud of myself. I always know this will be the outcome, and yet, it’s still a mental struggle.
Do you ever feel this way too? Perhaps it’s not about working out, but something else in your life that you’ve been putting off.
If you ever feel this way, I have a gentle but firm suggestion for you.
Stop negotiating with yourself.
If you’re anything like me, this is something you’ve gotten very good at over the years. Your mental chatter may go something like this.
“Write that newsletter you’ve been talking about.”
“I’ll write it after I make a list of all the things I want to write about and make a mood board of images for it.”
Time goes by and the newsletter is not written or sent out.
Another example:
“Go to the in-person pilates class at 6 pm.”
5:30 pm rolls around.
“I should probably work a tiny bit longer and then I’ll go. I really want to finish this email.” Time goes by and it’s 5:45 pm.
“If I leave now, I’ll be a few minutes late for the class. I don’t like being late, so maybe I’ll just go to the class tomorrow instead. Yeah, it’ll be better if I just go tomorrow so I don’t have to walk in awkwardly after class has begun.”
If this is you, stop it.
I say this as lovingly as possible because I know this feeling all too well myself. But all of this internal negotiation we do with ourselves in our heads is not getting us to the life we dream of. It’s keeping us stuck in a version of analysis paralysis and perfectionism.
Here’s how I’ve learned to stop this sort of behavior.
Mood follows action.
In her book Bravey: Chasing Dreams, Befriending Pain, and Other Big Ideas, Alexi Pappas, a professional long-distance runner and Olympian who has experienced debilitating depression, shares life-changing advice given to her by her doctor.
First, change your actions. Once you do that, your thoughts will begin to change. After your thoughts change, your feelings change. Action turns to thoughts turns to feelings in that specific order.
Alexi Pappas isn’t the only athlete who shares this learning. Watch this interview with Dr. Andrew Huberman on the Rich Roll podcast discussing David Goggins, the ultramarathon runner, ultra-distance cyclist, and triathlete. (Skip to 1:09:40 for the real nugget of wisdom. The first few minutes before the clip below is the intro so you have context.)
Make it a Routine.
Instead of relying on willpower or motivation to do hard things, create a consistent routine. You may never “feel” like writing that newsletter or be in the mood for a workout or whatever else your goal is, but you know you’ll feel better once it’s done. Having a routine will allow you to have something stable and sturdy to fall back on, instead of relying on your feelings because feelings tend to be unpredictable.
In The Creative Habit, choreographer Twyla Tharp writes:
I begin each day of my life with a ritual. I wake up at 5:30 A.M., put on my workout clothes, my leg warmers, my sweatshirts, and my hat. I walk outside my Manhattan home, hail a taxi, and tell the driver to take me to the Pumping Iron gym at 91st Street and First Avenue, where I work out for two hours. The ritual is not the stretching and the weight training I put my body through each morning at the gym; the ritual is the cab. The moment I tell the driver where to go I have completed the ritual.
Having a routine can be your support system so that you can move past the mental chatter and any blocks that may be holding you back. Instead of getting stuck, the actions you take propel you to keep moving forward.
What routines will you create to reach your goals?
As always, I am rooting for you! And if you want extra hands-on support, book a free consultation with me. I would love to be your coach to guide you on the path to success.
Good luck.